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Dear Straight Up! Is He Messaging Me Just As A Friend?

Author:   |  Published: October 16, 2014  |  Leave your thoughts

Sometimes you just need to hear an opinion, on a matter important to you, from someone outside of your circle. Be sure to send your burning questions to [email protected] for a chance to be published (questions may be edited).


Dear Straight Up,

A guy recently took me on several dates, and I thought it was going somewhere, but it ended up with him saying ” let’s just be friends.” Now, he’s messaging me again,  but I honestly do not want to lead him on, I’ve lost interest. What can I do?



Dear Lost,

Is he messaging you with the mindset that you and him are just friends or is he hoping to still maintain some interest on your side? If you actually meant to be friends with him then you need to maybe consider that he actually meant what he said and thus is treating you like a friend. If you think that maybe he wants to rekindle interest and you are no longer interested in pursuing it, then you will have to be straight up with him and let him know. Either ways the ball is in your court whether you want to continue having anything with this guy – whether it be friendship or something more.

-Straight Up




 Dear Straight Up,

There is a guy I met through a professional way, I interviewed him and found out that he is a very interesting person. I’ve tried to carry a conversation through text, he responds here and there, but I don’t know what to think of it. I want to see where this can go, but how do I engage him in a conversation and even a meet up to get to know each other better?



Dear Confused,

If you have tried on your part and he is not responding then he’s most likely not interested. If you just want to clear any doubts then just ask him if he would be interested in meeting you. By being upfront you avoid any confusing and/ or misunderstanding and most importantly you won’t waste your time wondering whether he is interested in you or not. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then take a step back. Don’t message him and see if he makes an effort to contact you. If he does then great, you can go from there, if not then the next best thing for you to do is move on. Either ways try not to dwell on it too much. Giving so much of yourself just to get a response back is not worth it, whether he be an interesting person or not. You are just as interesting as he is, and if he doesn’t want to take the time to see that then let him go, and someone else will come along who will.

-Straight Up


Check out our previous Straight Up! advice columns:

Dear Straight Up! I Met Someone Online but Don’t Want To Give Him My Number

 “Dear Straight Up! I’m Liberal, He’s Conservative: Will It Work Out?”
“Dear Straight Up! Should I Be Open About My Past?”
“Dear Straight Up! Should I Look for a Tamil Girl on My Own or Get an Arranged Marriage?”
“Dear Straight Up! My Best Friends are Dating and I Feel Like a Third Wheel”
“Dear Straight Up! My Fiance is Demanding a Dowry”
“Dear Straight Up! My Parents Don’t Approve of My Interracial Relationship”
“Dear Straight Up! I Cheated on My Girlfriend”
“Dear Straight Up! I Have Feelings for My Best Friend’s Ex”
“Dear Straight Up! I’m Not Attracted to My Boyfriend”

Do you have a question for our advice columnist? Send your questions [email protected] Check us out to see if your question was answered! Please note this is not a professional help column, but for those seeking an objective perspective.


Featured image sourced from Desktop Nexus.